The End of Serverus Snape
by Firecarryer
Summary: Tribute to Alan Rickman. A look into the death the Snape and what comes after. Oneshot.
**So, this was supposed to be my tribute to Alan Rickman that I'd post a couple days after his passing. So I checked my account and in my typical brilliance, I never uploaded it. So I know this is kind of late, but nothing I can do about it now.**

 **Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. I claim no ownership.**

Death always looks so much different from the inside. But really, all of life did too, so why should the last part be any different?

As Serverus Snape lay at the docks, fire coursing through his blood and lungs struggling to draw breathe, he let his mind drift. Only seconds remained, that much he could tell. He was a potions master; he knew the effects of almost all poisons on the body. Voldemort's blasted snake's venom would kill him before blood loss did, despite the grieviously bleeding wounds across his body.

But the mind does what it can, and in one's last moments seconds can be like hours. There was no point in holding back anymore; restraint couldn't save you. So as his mind wandered and time slowed to a crawl, he looked back on his life with a clinical eye. It wasn't like a pensive, oh no; this was seen directly as remembered, through Serverus' eyes and perceived as true as it could be.

Serverus had regrets, far too many to name even in the augmented time he was experiencing. His relationship with his mother, never standing up to his father, the friends that he'd let drift away or be corrupted. So many among the Death Eaters who had started out as little more than ambitious people, striving to leave their mark on the world. And Lily.

Oh Lily. How wrong he had been. Serverus could see it all, the hurt on her face, the pain of when he'd called her a mudblood. The breaking point, that. Because as he could see, there were many straws he'd stacked on that camel's back. From the time in the playground when he'd met her, she'd been his world. Serverus Snape, freak, halfblood and besotted romantic. Lily Evans, the brilliant and beautiful redheaded Muggleborn girl he'd grown up with, who'd been his first and best friend, who'd grown to be the love of his life. How selfish he'd been, to have ignored her, to have pushed her away, to have helped that damned Tom Riddle fulfil his dream of being a Dark Lord. How arrogant he'd been, to think that Lily, his Lily, would have stood by and allowed that to happen. How foolish he'd been to have dared dream she'd accept that kind of behavior from him.

And Potter... Thinking about James hurt. That horrid man, whose arrogance surpassed even Serverous' own. How that man had ever won, ever surpassed Snape was beyond him, but it had happened.

No. Now was not the time to lie to himself, Serverous was forced to admit as another precious second slipped away while he was lost in rage and hatred against Potter. But he would not allow that feeling to consume the little life he had left. Anger had consumed much of Snape's life before this, his death would be free of it. Potter had won because he'd changed; when Serverous had made the wrong move, had joined the racist scum known as Death Eaters, Lily had accepted the charms of Potter. And James was not without his good points, being a better man than Severus could hope to be. Saving him from Black's revenge of walking in on a Werewolf during the full moon was not something Severus could have ever seen himself doing. And even more so, it was something James would have done no matter what, even had Lily chosen Snape over him. That Severus knew for a fact, and he resented Potter for being that.

Even worse was Harry. Harry Potter, the prideful boy who hid his traits behind a falsely humble and self depricating mask, who swaggered as he walked and believed himself to be above the rules, who's soft green eyes tore through him as Lily lept to his mind and he remembered the promise he'd made. "I will keep Lily's son safe." And he had. So many times.

Honestly Harry wasn't as bad as Snape made him out to be. It was hard seeing Jame's face with Lily's eyes but it was more than that. Harry couldn't see his own value, and thought nothing of risking his own life. He stepped into danger, knowingly or not, without a second's hesitation. He was reckless, headstrong, at times self-entitled but beyond that, he wasted. He was bright and clever and quick, and had the potential to be a great wizard. Instead he squandered those gifts playing Quidditch and hiding behind Granger. That girl, he figured, she could change things. It would have been good to see where she ended up, watching her grow. She was the only one to defend him really, her and Dumbledorre.

Ah yes. The Headmaster. His superior, his mentor, and dare he say his friend. Dumbledorre was a great man, and sometimes he was even a good one. Severus had seen the lengths the elder man would go to for the greater good, had watched as he attempted to fix what was wrong with the Wizarding World without taking control. Make things better through teaching, through action. Not through words. Not through orders. But by asking politely when necessary, and otherwise leading by example. Dumbledorre had seen the corruption Tom Riddle would embrace, and had tried to save those he could from flocking to him. Even more so though, Dumbledorre had believed in second chances for all, even him.

Snape felt clearly again the bubbling rage and betrayal, not only when he heard Lily had died, a fact that caused him to tear up and diverted his attention just long enough to hear the slow motion pattern of someone running inside the docks, but when he'd said Harry had to die. Why? After all these years, after seventeen years of life, he had to be killed? Hadn't this war taken enough? How much more must be given? He was just a boy, a boy who normally Snape wouldn't care about beyond him being a student but he was Lily's boy. The last spark of her on earth and Dumbledorre wanted it gone.

He wanted to rebel, to scream and yell and demand Dumbledorre find another way. To call the man out on it, to take him to task because now it made sense; this was why the Dursley's had raised Harry. Because Dumbledorre needed Harry to be strong but broken, willful yet compliant, and most of all, filled with a self-doubt that destroyed his sense of value. Because Harry wasn't a child; he was a piece on a board that would have to be willing to be sacrificed if asked.

But he never did, because nothing Serverus could say was beyond what Dumbledorre himself felt. Because like Serverus, Dumbledorre had grown to care for the boy, to see him as more than he'd thought. And the boy was more than 'The-Boy-Who-Lived' to them both. And try as they might to find a way to save Harry, neither saw any way out of it. Dumbledorre had instead said two things before his death.

"It is important, you must tell Harry only when Voldemort is at his weakest." Dumbledorre had first insisted. Sorry sir. Looks like that one's a fail. Unless Potter was outside right this very minute, this secret was following him to his grave. He only had a few moments left.

Movement. Snape's eyes focused as a hand, soft and gentle and worried, found his cheek. He focused as someone looked intently at him, anxious green eyes scanning his own. "Lily?" He thought dumbly for a moment, before he could make out he glasses. Well. That was something. Evidently Potter had heard his thoughts, or the universe was feeling particularly cruel. Either way, Severus struggled to raise his arm, traitorous limbs shaky as his wand attempted to reach his temple.

"T-take it." He managed, as his body struggled to respond, his magic sluggish at his call. Never had he so dearly wanted to live, if only for a few more seconds. Po- Harry needed this. Harry, Lily's son, needed to know all of this, all that Snape kept in his head.

Harry, bless him, saw what Snape was attempting to do and helped, bottling the last lesson Serverus would ever teach him. He was also desperately plugging the wound in Snape's neck, and begging his friends to help him buy more time. It was too late Harry. Far, far too late to even try.

But the fierce determination in those green eyes brought back a happier memory, and Snape's felt his face soften as he attempted to smile. For first time, he really saw Lily in those eyes; that kindness and desperation to save that one life, no matter how underserving. "Y-you... You have y-y-our m-mother's eyes." He said softly.

With that, Serverus quit fighting. It was not a struggle he could win and really, it was time. Death was coming, and it was time to greet him. Serverus let himself drift, exhaled his last, and closed his eyes.

"Well done old friend."

Serverus' eyes popped open, and much to his dismay he was no longer in the boathouse. Instead, he stood in the Great Hall, untarnished by the war, the lamps all lit and the banners on ceiling missing. And before him, stood Albus Dumbledorre.

"Albus?" Serverus demanded, his voice much stronger than before. "What is this? Where am I?"

"Well I was rather hoping you could tell me." Dumbledorre replied rather cheerfully in Snape's opinion.

"The Great Hall..." Serverus replied cautiously.

"Ah. Makes perfect sense. Hogwarts was more of a home for you than anywhere else." Dumbledorre informed him. "And it's a meeting place."

"Meeting place?" Serverus echoed, looking around. The Hall was empty.

Albus chuckled. "Serverus my boy." He told him gently. "I told you two things before I died. What was the second thing?"

Serverus stared for a long moment, his mind racing. The second thing? The first was inform Po- Harry, he was Harry not his father, inform Harry and the second... "Death is nothing but the next great adventure." Serverus told him softly. "So I really am dead? This is real?"

Dumbledorre nodded, face suddenly serious. "It is indeed." He told him. "And from here, you have a new adventure to start. But first, I think there are many people here who wish to see you."

Serverus was startled when he heard the great wood doors of the Hall creak open, and he spun around in surprise. There in front of him were five familiar faces, ones he never dreamed he see again. "Lily?" He cried out as the red haired woman smiled.

"Serverus." She greeted him warmly, running up and giving him a hug. Serverus was in shock, and his arms awkwardly returned the hug on instinct. He never even questioned when he suddenly broke down in her arms, too many conflicting emotions running through him to name. "I'm glad to see you again my friend."

"Lily." He sobbed out, face in her hair, wishing it wasn't so messy, that their reunion wasn't spoiled by him behaving like this. "Lily, I'm so sorry. I'm so very, very sorry."

"I know. And it's all right now. What's done is done." She soothed him, almost mothering him. "I know what happened, I saw it all. You kept him alive Serverus."

"He hated me." Serverus admitted. "I was horrible to him, I-"

"Taught him caution." This voice was familiar, and not the one he expected to spring to defense. James Potter stepped forward and placed a hand on Serverus' shoulder. "Looked out for him when he made foolish mistakes. Played spy against the most dangerous man to keep our son safe. Even though he was also of my blood, and looked like me. I can hardly blame you for hating him, when we were too alike."

Serverus gaped and James cracked a grin. "Serverus, I've been dead for seventeen years. It does wonder for your perspective. I'm sorry for all the things I did to you. Our fighting was stupid, and I was a horrible prat for all the times I went after you. I forgive you for all the fights you started, and I hope in time you can forgive me for the things I did. And I thank you for keeping my son alive."

Serverus had to be dead. There was no way James Potter would say that. "Wotcher. Almost time now." Came a different voice and Serverus frowned. Nymphadora? Or as she prefered to be called, "Tonks"? But hadn't she been... Oh. And Lupin beside her. Another orphan. He started to speak, to say something probably very trite but before anything else could be said, Lupin, Lily, Sirius Black whom Serverus had just taken notice to, and James all stepped out of the door and vanished.

"What just-" Serverus started to asked but Tonks cut him off.

"Ring of Remberance." She explained, stepping forward and guiding him to a bench. "Harry's calling the people closest to him. Sir, you'll need to be going soon too."

She was addressing Dumbledorre this time, and he nodded. "Ah yes. I'll try to be back shortly Serverus but there are some duties that still must be attended to. I have one last lesson for Mr. Potter. In case you do not wait for me, or if I cannot return, I will see you another time. And thank you for all you did Serverus. I look forward to seeing you again my friend."

So many greetings, farewells, apologies and thanks. This was a strange day indeed. Tonks grinned wryly at him, and cheekily remarked, "Funny how being dead's suddenly better than alive eh? So many nicer people."

Serverus allowed himself a smile, because what good was his unflinching reputation here? "This isn't at all what I expected." He admitted.

"Let me guess, you were excepting a guy with wings and a book, a line of people coming in and him checking off names as to whether they went through pearly gates or took a southbound elevator?" Tonks asked him? It wasn't exactly the image but it was close enough, so Serverus nodded. "Well, I think that's kind of an option. Or rather, that's what staying here is. It's all pretty messy but it doesn't just finish here. Things keep going, time keeps passing. You've done enough good that you get that option."

"It doesn't end here?" Serverus asked, startled.

"Course not silly. There's a reason life's so short." She told him, smacking him on the shoulder. "That was like your practices for Quidditch. Much shorter than the games."

"Why is everyone obsessed with the sport?" Serverus wondered.

"I seem to recall a young man getting very worked up about how his team did." Sirius called to him, returning to the Great Hall.

"And I recall a certain professor being very interested in the outcome of his House team's matches." Lupin teased, coming over to stand by Tonk's side.

"Why are you all here?" Serverus asked.

"You're greeted by the people that made the biggest impacts on your life." Lily explained. "To come to terms with outstanding things in your life. But those have already been mostly covered."

"I understand you three, though I don't know why Peter isn't here too," Serverus pointed at the Marauders, who scowled on cue when Peter was mentioned, "And you as well Lily. But why Tonks?"

"I just came to support my husband." She told him with a shrug. Of course she did.

"And Peter?" Serverus repeated.

"He won't be joining us. Not all make it here, and he never understood." James said a bit tightly.

"You all came for me?" He confirmed, still rather confused.

"Yes." Sirius was, well, looking rather serious as he stood up and clapped Serverus on the shoulder. "We've all got things to say, and that you need to hear. My first thing is, I'm sorry about trying to kill you when we were young. That was probably the worst thing in my life I ever did, and I held it over your head like a point of pride. It was a horrible act to have committed, and it is something I've regretted since passing, knowing I never apologized for it, or even acknowledged it was wrong."

"We were all rather horrible to you, simply because of your House and rivalry with James." Lupin agreed. "But I think it's time to bury the hatchet on all those things. We have long forgiven you what you did Serverus. Can you forgive us?"

The Murauders were asking for forgiveness? For all they'd put him through, for all they'd done? Serverus was about to tell them where they could shove that idea except... His own memory was full of the horrible things he'd done to them, to other students for the exact same reason. His rivalry with James, culminating and exceeding anything else after he'd lost Lily. He had done some terrible things too, and for all he'd hated his experiences with the Murauders they'd made him stronger. And many of the actions against him were no worse than the actions he'd taken.

"Forgiveness is not an easy thing for me to give," Serverus admitted, attempting to stay honest. "But it is also earned at this point. And there is plenty of wrong on both sides, things you have forgiven me for. I'd be a fool and lesser to shove that away, and I am no fool."

"Very true." Lily told him with a soft chuckle. God he'd missed her. "That was much easier than expected."

"So then, what happens now?" Serverus asked.

"Well, that's rather up to you." She told him. "You're finally free Serverus. You're no longer the spy. You've put your demons to rest, and forgiven those that hurt you. You've been forgiven by Harry, many times over. His youngest son will be named after you. Albus Serverus Potter, in honour of the two of the bravest, greatest men he's ever known."

Serverus was taken aback by that. He'd misjudged the boy for so long, he'd never expected that turn of events. Lily gave him a moment to process that information before continuing, "So what you do now is your choice Serverus. What do you really want to do?"

Serverus looked at her, looked at all the group's faces before looking back at the Great Hall. It was over. It was finally over. All the fighting, all the struggling. There was nothing, nothing except a profound personal feeling of peace. "Now?" He repeated. "I think I'd like to wander the castle. If anyone wants to join, company would be appreciated."

"Just wander?" Lily confirmed.

"Just wander." Serverus agreed. "It's been far too long. I'm ready to be home."

She nodded and smiled, glancing back at the door. Dumbledorre was suddenly there, and he opened the door a bit wider and smiled, warm and broad. "All right everyone. It's time to go home."


End file.
